OKAY SO. There's this band that I love. Showbread. Over the years, they've been rejected by the Christians for being "too controversial," and rejected by the mainstream artists for "putting too much Jesus" in their songs. I think all of that is a crock of malarkey. They're completely unique, and unlike anything I've ever heard. For those of you who aren't into the raw rock scene, you probably wouldn't like them. Their lead singer, Josh Dies (Joshua S. Porter) is covered in tattoos and piercings, has long black hair, writes poetry and paints, and is known for having unpopular opinions. But he is one of the most hardcore Christians I've ever seen.
I forgot all about Showbread up until a couple days ago. I used to really like them, and I have no idea why I stopped listening to them. In any event, I looked up a bunch of their songs online, and I listened to the lyrics before I watched any music videos. When first listened to, most people would write them off as just another screamo band. Oh ho ho, are they wrong-o. You really have to dig deep in order to understand their lyrics, and they make you think and figure them out. Most of their songs definitely have a shock factor to them, and at first you might think, "Oh my gosh! This is a Christian band??" But once you actually use your brain and discover the true meaning behind the lyrics, you're more likely to think, "Oh wow. This is quite possibly the most genius thing I've ever heard." Well. At least that's what I think. ;)
One (well, it's really two combined into one) song in particular caught my attention. "I'm Lost/Nothing Matters Anymore" is the first and second tracks on their album, The Fear of God. It starts out with a haunting intro, and heavy vocals.
"Lord, here I am
I’m lost, I can’t find my way
Like Adam and Judas before me
I’ve gone astray
Life is endlessly brief
And we languish in death throes within her
And I have no fight left in me
Have mercy on me Lord, a sinner"
THEN. The guitar and bass kick you in the face and leave you begging for more. lol.
BUT YES. One of my favorite parts of the song is the chorus;
"No fear, no doubt, I’ve bottomed out, I’ve lost myself, I’m letting go
No pride, no me, I’ve set them free, I’ve lost my mind and now I know
No pain, no death, they’re put to rest, we leave them here, we close the door
No earth, no man, now take my hand, cause nothing matters anymore"
I really thought about that for a little while. I mean, I felt like somebody *cough cough God cough cough* was screaming something at me. Like, I need to let go of some stuff that's been holding me down lately. I'm not gonna say what, but it's been crushing my relationship with God. A lot...a LOT a lot. It's like He's sayin, "Yo. Marisa. I see whatcha doin there. That's not cool, yo. Leave all that crap behind and just let it all gooooo."
Okay maybe not exactly like that. But pretty close.
I'm not sure why, but there's this weird thing with me where whenever I feel the Holy Spirit, I get goosebumps reeeeeeeally bad. Like, I get shivers down my spine and the hair on my arms stand up and stuff like that. Even when I'm hot. It's super weird, but awesome at the same time. Anyways, there's this part of the song that when I listen to it, I get goosebumps like nobody's business, and I just have to sit there and close my eyes my breath gets really shallow...and I can feel Him. It's only with that one part of the song;
"And when the trumpets call us home and I’m no longer bedded by pain
Our tears will be forever dried, for the author of life knows my name
So we trample the hoards of the pointless and blank
We will die for the truth in our hearts
No force that exists will tear us from His hands
Nothing will tear us apart"
HE KNOWS MY NAME, YALL. He knows my name. Me. Lil old Marisa over here. What? That's just...um, wow. That's hard for me to grasp. The Author of Life knows my name. Goosebumps.
Even though most of you don't really like screamo (you know who you are), most of the song is sung, not screamed. If you don't want to listen to it (which I strongly reccomend you DO...here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukVIpa8kNjw ), at least read the lyrics;
"Lord, here I am
I’m lost, I can’t find my way
Like Adam and Judas before me
I’ve gone astray
Life is endlessly brief
And we languish in death throes within her
And I have no fight left in me
Have mercy on me Lord, a sinner
After all of this we’ve been dismissed by those who prefer to eat dirt
We’ve been gladly exempt, we are racked with contempt
And we happily wish you this hurt
My skull is on fire with barbs and black spires
My synapses shriek in the flames
Yet we reel with desire though chocked by coarse wire
Loosed by our raging disdain
I’m gone, God help me, I’m done, I’m done
Nothing can stop me, I’m done, I’m done
No fear, no doubt, I’ve bottomed out, I’ve lost myself, I’m letting go
No pride, no me, I’ve set them free, I’ve lost my mind and now I know
No pain, no death, they’re put to rest, we leave them here, we close the door
No earth, no man, now take my hand, cause nothing matters...
Oh, the stage that we soil, the plans that we foil, the joke that we play on the world
And you drown in the oil, all wrapped up in the coils
And crushed under the stones that you’ve hurled
Still we march through the tombs, through the darkness and gloom
And we shatter the columns of bone
And the world she breaks for the lives that she takes
She weeps as she dies all alone
No fear, no doubt, I’ve bottomed out, I’ve lost myself, I’m letting go
No pride, no me, I’ve set them free, I’ve lost my mind and now I know
No pain, no death, they’re put to rest, we leave them here, we close the door
No earth, no man, now take my hand, cause nothing matters anymore
The world is a husk to be peeled back and torn
My body a shell that now breaks
How I long to escape from the chains that I’ve worn
And hasten my greatest escape
And when I breathe my very last, don’t shed a tear for me
Discard the body that once was my prison, for I’ll have been set free
And when the trumpets call us home and I’m no longer bedded by pain
Our tears will be forever dried, for the author of life knows my name
So we trample the hoards of the pointless and blank
We will die for the truth in our hearts
No force that exists will tear us from His hands
Nothing will tear us apart
Though the mirror is dull, the reflection obscured
We look beyond the obtuse
And the world weighs down, beating us to the ground
But her efforts are of little use
The Anointed One has purchased our souls
Death is battered and lifeless before me
The truth rains down for the children of Christ
And the truth has set us free
And through it all we rise when we fall
Though the road grows more narrow before me
Though we ache, though we cry, never break, never die
The one truth there it sets us free"
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