Do you ever just slowly open your eyes, only to realize how idly you've been sitting for so long? All that potential time has come and gone, and there you sit; slowly putting down roots in your complacency.
I'm in one of those funks.
The Artistic World seems to be flying by me, flashing bright colors and loud textures. And I see it all in its dazzling wonder, but...I can't seem to find that passion in me these days. The dust in my soul has seemed to have settled, and I feel that longing to be creative again. But I'm feeling so un.Inspired.
I can feel these little rosebuds just begging to bloom and grow, way down deep in my heart. But they have no light to grow anymore. I feel like ripping open my chest and airing out these dusty cabinets; letting the light flood my innermost being and allowing the fresh air to awaken my soul.
But I know that as long as I'm content in my sluggishness, I might as well be wishin' for the dead to rise again.
Which is really what I'm doing anyways, right? My passion, my drive, my inspiration...they've all passed away, haven't they? Like dying in my sleep; I'm not exactly sure of the time they chose to leave me, but leave me they did. But I'm hoping that our dearly departed pull a Lazarus and bring with them the promise of new things to come.
Even as I pen these words, however easily they might be flowing, I still feel this sense of reckless abandon just screaming to escape from the locked up cell that's in my brain. I feel like a prisoner, trapped in the space in between my two ears.
Which is actually kind of unnerving, seeing as you can't escape your own mind.
And all these lucid thoughts and ideas and dreams rattle around in there; all bouncing off of one another in a noisy collection of colors and textures and hues and patterns...and I can't seem to flesh them out.
So here I sit. Numb with frustration and tired of waiting. These roots of complacency have become overgrown and have twisted themselves around my heart, slowly choking out any creative drive I had left in me.
I feel tired.
I feel washed up.
I feel un.Inspired.
