The Beginning. Nervosa.

Heeeey-a! It's a-me! Maaario! Just kidding. It's Marisa. (I can't believe you fell for that one...)

Anyways. I'm back again. I know I've already thrown Showbread at you guys, but hear me out. This one is REALLY. REALLY. good. So you'll want to pay attention to this one. c:

I recently began writing again. I wrote a little something a couple nights ago, and shared it with a few friends. They all loved it, and my one friend said it reminded him of the Anorexia/Nervosa stories Josh Dies wrote to accompany Showbread's albums with the same names. I'd already heard some songs off of those albums, but I decided to look up some of the songs I hadn't heard. Boy, am I stoked I did.

Everyone was saying that I had to listen to the end track off of Nervosa, called "The Beginning." WOAH MAN. It's so. so. so. powerful. It talks about a lot of the stuff I've been feeling lately.

"I once had prayers that found no words, fragile things I've never spoken
Through my lips passed eulogies for all the oaths that I have broken
And still the ghost of hope was haunting, through the dark to save the living
And still beneath it all I dreamt that God could be forgiving"

Wow. Just wow. That's powerful enough by itself. BUT HOLD ON HERE. They went and ripped my heart out with the next part. Do you guys remember the old hymn, "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross?" Yeah. They threw THAT in there. And quite beautifully, I might add. :3 And in between the verses of THAT, they put THIS in;

I am the worst of all things here
My crooked, black, and lying heart still spits its bitter fear
And each and every sparrow
They flutter to the ground before they die
So please God don't forget me

''I have been with you all along, you have not noticed me.'
She now felt more ashamed than ever before.
'Why would you still care enough to save me
even after seeing the horrible things I have done?
Why do you remain here even now?' she asked, sobbing.
'Because, here is where you are,' the Lamb said softly,
'And I long to be with you."

GAH. JUST. JUST UGH. THAT'S THE GOSPEL. That's the Gospel in it's most beautiful, miraculous, and raw form. Josh Dies (Joshua S. Porter) has such a beautiful gift for writing and music, and he really touched my heart with this one, folks.

It got me thinking. Do we really get the story of Christ? I mean really get it? All of our lives, we've been digging ourselves deeper and deeper in our holes, desperately searching for the meaning of humanity and theology and any other number of things. We've convinced ourselves that by doing so, we're safely tucked into our own little worlds where everything is as it should be, and that nothing needs to change. We get in this pattern of self-gratification, tricking our hearts into believing that if we do enough good things, or if we're good enough of a person, we can earn our way into Heaven.

WRONG-O.

The only way we're EVER getting into Heaven is through the blood and the sacrifice of the Lamb. No other way. None. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Don't you get it?

IN ORDER FOR OUR DEBT TO BE PAID, OUR SLATE HAD TO BE WIPED CLEAN BY THE ONLY PERFECT BEING IN EXISTENCE. And He did it. He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered, and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off--and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.

That's from Isaiah 53:7-9 (The Message), in case anyone cares. 

What a beautiful love story our Creator has written about us. It's incomprehensible sometimes; for me, at least. The Lamb was slaughtered because of us. US. That's powerful. That's love. That's real, raw love.

And that's only The Beginning. (See what I did there?? ;D) Our love story has just begun. We still get to spend eternity with our Lamb. He longs to be with us. And I don't know about you, but I long to be with Him, too.

Here's the link to the video, plus the lyrics.

Showbread - The Beginning (Nervosa)

I used to dream that I could fly
Just above the whispered clouds, beneath the somber sky
I had a dream I was alive
I dreamt that love would never die, goodbye
Dreams were cheap and hope was easy (so light)
The forgeries of life deceiving (so bright)
And as I glided to the ground (so long)
Calcified, the concrete weighed me down (cruel world)

Your wings are holding up the sky
Dear God, I had dreamt that I could fly

Alkaline the burning frost, has blistered deep beneath my bones
And winter spat its hatred, cold and coiled, black and deep
As it called me ever further, where evil burns and never sleeps
I once had prayers that found no words, fragile things I've never spoken
Through my lips passed eulogies for all the oaths that I have broken
And still the ghost of hope was haunting, through the dark to save the living
And still beneath it all I dreamt that God could be forgiving

Your wings are holding up the sky
Dear God, I dreamt that I could fly

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

I am the worst of all things here
My crooked, black, and lying heart still spits its bitter fear
And each and every sparrow
They flutter to the ground before they die
So please God don't forget me

''I have been with you all along, you have not noticed me.'
She now felt more ashamed than ever before.
'Why would you still care enough to save me
even after seeing the horrible things I have done?
Why do you remain here even now?' she asked, sobbing.
'Because, here is where you are,' the Lamb said softly,
'And I long to be with you.''

See from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
To Christ, who won for sinners' grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore

There's No Ship Like a Friendship, Man...

Hey guys. I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Too bad my name's not Alexander. HAR HAR HAR. But seriously, folks. I feel compelled to write about something that's been on my heart for a couple of years now. And unfortunately, I have first-hand experience dealing with the subject.


Today, kids, I'm going to talk about friendship. But not just any friendship; REAL friendship. It's hard to know if you really have those, these days.  So what does it mean to be a real friend? The definition varies from person to person. But for me personally, the requirements are set in stone. Lemme share a few of those requirements with you...


NUMERAL UNO: Show No Faves! 
A real friend doesn't show favoritism.



Alright, I know all of you have fallen victim to this at one time or another. I know I have. Somehow you find yourself in a sticky situation that looks something like this; *you and BFF hanging out* *a wild mutual friend appears!* *BFF ignores you the whole time mutual friend is there* *it's super effective!*
Please tell me someone got my reference...lol ANYWAYS. For reals, guys. It's gonna happen to you at some point in your life, unfortunately. But it shouldn't! Favoritism is NOT what a real friend should be playing. In 1 Timothy 5:21 it says, "I charge you in the sight of God and Jesus Christ and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without penalty, and to do nothing out of favoritism." Well. Can't get plainer than THAT...but yes. Show no faves.


NUMERAL DOS: Gotta Be Real!
A fake friend is NOT a real friend.


Ho boy. Yet another thing I have personal experience dealing with. Okay so. Being fake with someone else is not okay. Especially when you pretend that you're not talking about them behind their back. It's not fun to be the person who you're talking about. Believe me, it causes nothing but drama. And having to hear from someone else that you're talking about them behind their back is WORSE. In fact, in Proverbs 16:28 it says, "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends." YA HEAR THAT, Y'ALL?? A GOSSIP SEPARATES CLOSE FRIENDS. True story.
Being fake is pretty much hypocrisy. For those of you who don't know what that is, lemme break it down for ya.

hy·poc·ri·sy

   [hi-pok-ruh-see] 

noun, plural -sies.

1.

a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.

So ya see? Being fake means that you're one kind of person with certain people (virtuous, or goodie-two-shoes) and another kid of person with other people (gossiper, liar, ect.). You gotta be real.


NUMERAL TRES: Luv Me, Man!
A real friend always has your back.


This one is tough for me, because for a little over 2 years now, I've been finding out who really has my back and who doesn't...and there were FAR more people who didn't have it. Ever since my family left NCC, my friends have been dropping like flies. Of course, I still have true blue friends till the end, but I'm sad to say that there's only a handful of them. Don't get me wrong; I'm eternally grateful for those friends. They're my homies, yo (Sorry, didn't mean to get all street on you, there...). Nevertheless, I've had to deal with my share of fair-weather-friends.
BUT. The love that I'm getting from my real friends make it all worth it. In Proverbs 17:17 it says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." A friend loves at all times, huh? Huh. Interesting. At ALL times. Not just when things are peachy keen jelly bean. They love you in the tough times. They love you when you have nothing left. They love you when you think things can't get any worse. They love you at your best, despite seeing you at your worst. They love you with everything they have in them. They're your brotha from anotha motha. (Or sista from anotha mista. Same diff.) They luv you, man!


So. Those are my criteria for a REAL friend. Hopefully I didn't bore you,, and hopefully I let you in on the true meaning of being a real friend. Pick 'em wisely, my lovelies. You become the company you keep.