Hello Hurricane :)

Shama llama ding dong. Sup kids? :{D

SO. I've been listening to Switchfoot over and over for like the past week. I have their Hello Hurricane album on repeat hahahaha. Can you blame me? Jon Foreman is stinkin amazing! :] His voice is to raw and raspy...I love it! And I know the band itself is a secular band, but the members are practicing Christians. They pretty much make my life happy. :D

Alright. Getting to the point of this blog...I've been listening to the title track most of all this week. It basically says that no matter what this life throws at us, nothing will ever take away our love for each other or for God; "Hello Hurricane, you're not enough. Hello Hurricane, you can't silence my love. I've got doors and windows boarded up; all your dead end fury's not enough. You can't silence my love." S'got me thinking...

How many times do we really admit to ourselves that we're not as "in control" as we'd like to be? I know personally, I like to control what's going on around me. Especially when it comes to my relationships; any relationships. Whether it's with my parents, my friends, or anybody else, I like to keep things tucked away in me so they don't get to completely see everything I am. That's something I need to work on.

I guess the world today is like a hurricane. It's big, scary, and devastating. But, if you know just the right place to stand, everything is peaceful, at least for a little while. We can't let this world intimidate us and tell us what's right or what's wrong; we already know what's right and wrong according to the Bible. Our love today sometimes seems to be choked out by this monster storm of a world we live in, but we can't let it! Nothing should silence our love! If we stick to our guns and prepare for that stormy weather that's a-brewin, nothing will be able to shake us.

Gah. I just love this song! It just gets me so excited; it makes me want to scream to the world, "NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL EVER SILENCE MY LOVE!!!!!" Just keep Holding On, and you'll get through the hurricanes of life, I promise. :]

Here's the lyrics, just in case you'd love to know lol;

I've been watching the skies
They've been turning blood red
Not a doubt in my mind anymore
There's a storm up ahead

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, my love

Every thing I have I count as loss
Everything I have is stripped away
Before I started building I counted up these costs
There's nothing left for you to take away

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love, yeah my love

I'm a fighter fighting for control
I'm a fighter fighting for my soul
Everything inside of me surrenders
You can't silence my love
You can't silence my love, yeah

Hello hurricane, you're not enough
Hello hurricane, you can't silence my love
I've got doors and windows boarded up
All your dead end fury is not enough
You can't silence my love

Yeah, I said hello hurricane <3

Hope For the Future :)

La dee la dee doo. :3 Hello, all.

Alright, so, apparently this blogging thing is something that I'm kind of good at, so I'm going to give it another shot. :]

Late last week I found out I'm going to New York City this June to work with Hope For the Future Ministries. It will be my third time doing mission work with them, as well as my second mission trip with my sisters and fourth with my daddy! SUPER EXCITED! :D haha. Every time I go on a mission trip, it feels like it's my very first time...nothing excites me more than actually living out my faith! Working with the homeless and the less fortunate holds an extra special place in my heart; seeing how grateful they are for everything they have just tugs at my heart, but sharing the love of Jesus with them makes my heart burst with joy. :]

I remember the first time I went to NYC on a mission trip...I had just finished my freshman year in highschool, and I was super duper excited to a.) finally go to New York!! b.) work with the homeless, and c.) get to know my youth group a little better. Boy, was I in for a shock. Nothing could ever prepare you for the overwhelming sense of comradery throughout the homeless community...it was amazing. God did things that week that we thought were impossible, but, once again He proved that NOTHING is impossible with Him.

Last year was my second time going, and it was just as wonderful as the first, although bittersweet. It was the last trip the youth group took before our youth minister moved to Ohio, so we cherished that week even more. Helping Pastor Dianne Dunne (she runs Hope For the Future Ministries, and is an AMAZINGLY AWESOME woman of God) and learning from her was one of the most amazing expierences I've ever had, and I'm totally looking forward to doing it again this summer! :]

A while ago, HFFM was torched by arsenists, completely destroying everything in the warehouse, so we spent the majority of the trip last year doing as much as we could to somewhat get things moving in a positive direction. The guys (and even some of us girls!) put up drywall and painted inside, while the rest of us scrubbed crates and cooked the meals we were going to serve the homeless in the evenings. I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. <3

Serving the homeless in New York City is QUITE an experience, let me tell you. One of the most memorible times that week was when we set up in Tompkins Square Park, and had "church without walls;" a service we put together for the homeless community. Some girls from the youth group lead worship, and everybody shook tambourienes and rain sticks, people were dancing and singing and praising God everywhere; even people who were walking through the park stopped for a minute or two to see what was going on! After the worship portion, my father preached to the people. It. Was. Powerful. You could hear a pin drop; the intensity of the people listening and the looks of genuine interest in what my father had to say was overwhelming. Afterwards, we handed out food and supplies, and the bonding that took place between me, the youth group, Pastor Dianne, and the homeless that week will ALWAYS be something I hold dear in my heart.

WELL. I feel like I typed a stinkin novel, so I suppose I'll leave you with these final words; God can use you no matter who you are, even a little 15 or 16  or 17 year old girl from Pittsburgh. He gives us Hope For the Future (see what I did there?? lol) to continue spreading his love to those who need it the most...even the homeless and the less fortunate. So just Hold On, He's got a plan for you. :]

Hold On :)

Well, this is my very first blog. Yay me! I feel I must explain myself a bit. :3

A very good friend of mine (who happens to be an amazing Christian) and I were discussing depression earlier today, and how it relates to Godly matters. Having depression myself, I never saw how the two connected. Slowly, over the past year and a half or so, I've begun to realize that they DON'T connect. In fact, they're perfect opposites!

Depression is a disease. Those who suffer from it aren't always "emo" or "moody." I know many people with depression who lead normal and healthy lives. But unfortunately, I know a lot MORE people with depression who find it difficult to function in everyday life. I know what they're going through. I was there.

I've always been a Christian, and nothing I've done or will do in the future can change that. But, a little while back, I'll admit I did have some doubts. My family was going through an extremely difficult time, and on top of me being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was NOT in a good place; mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. There were many, many times when I just wanted to give up; and I almost did. Four times. I had a big empty hole in my heart, and nothing could fill it; not guys, not cutting, not friends, not even my family. I was so far gone, I thought nothing could ever bring me back.

This story has a happy ending (trust me!), but for now, I'm going to shift my focus a bit, kay? Kay. As I sat here on my bed, listening to my iPod and trying to think of something REMOTELY interesting to talk about, two songs played right after one another, and they kinda tugged at my heart.
The first was "Your Love is a Song" by Switchfoot, one of my absolute favorite bands. I've been in a depressed kind of mood lately, and the first verse spelled out what I was feeling; "I hear you breathing in, another day begins. The stars are falling out, my dreams are fading now, fading out." But then, the chorus knocked the wind out of me; "Ooo Your love is a symphony all around me, running through me. Ooo Your love is a melody underneath me, running to me..."
As I sat there in awestruck wonder, I felt God kind of plant an idea in my overcrowded brain. Depression doesn't have to overwhelm you; God surounds you no matter what! I chewed on that thought for the rest of the song, but I shoved it to the back of my mind. After all, it was just a fleeting thought.

But then.....BAM! The second song came on; "Hold On" by Abandon. Let me give you a little taste of the lyrics..."She sits alone and wonders, when is the end of broken dreams?
'This isn’t what I pictured,' she says as tears run down her cheeks. She needs a friend beside her, she's looking for a Savior. Hold on, hold on...someone will find you. Hold on, hold on...somebody loves you." Wow. For the first time in a long time, I felt like God was trying to get my attention. It was like he was saying, "Yoo hoo! Marisa! Over here! Remember me? I never left your side...why are you so distant from me? Get back over here!" Now, I know that's not exactly what He was saying, but you get the point.

BACK TO THE LITTLE OLD STORY. Depression was (and still is) not a fun thing to live through. At all. Some people think that people choose to be depressed, and that they can just stop whenever they want to. Wrong-o. Believe me, if I could just turn off my depression, I would in a heartbeat! It's a scary thing to live in overwhelming darkness; especially if you're on your own. Three months of therapy later, I was on my way to getting my life back together. It was hard, and I would NEVER wish that kind of pain and hardship on anyone, but I did it. And here I am today, typing up a blog that nobody will probably ever read. Hahaha.
But seriously, I've come such a long way from the past couple of years; I couldn't have done it without my amazing friends, family, and most importantly, God. I know I could have taken the easy way out so many times, but I didn't. Something held me back. Every time I see the ugly scars on my wrist, I'm reminded of that dark, scary place I was in. But, I'm also reminded that I never have to go there again. This time, I have God in my corner, and depression doesn't even stand a chance.

SO. After reading my ridiculously long and boring blog, I hope you took at least one thing out of it; Hold On. It gets better, believe me. As long as you have God on your side, you can do anything; even beat depression. I'm living proof. :]